feeling sick; I just may get this job.

feeling-sick;-i-just-may-get-this-job.

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TL/DR: imposter syndrome. Do I let this be known in the interview? Do I hold on to my integrity and let them know of this feeling of underqualified-ness?

I applied for a hand full of jobs internally. As a data-loss prevention analyst reading internal emails, I feel I'm wasting time. I just don't think it's a skill. I'm only getting older, I've got to get more technical work under my belt. And I'm interested in doing something more technical.

One job I really want (cloud IAM). All interviews seemed to go really well for this one. In fact, the recruiter brought up topics such as what I'd like for compensation, and when I think I might be able to start! Great things to hear, right? So I get off the phone feeling positive.

Job #2 (principal security SIEM engineer) Is the 2nd option, but pays more. This interview I couldn't read the manager as well. So I figured they weren't impressed. Also, this one isn't AS interesting to me as the first (but still they will both get me doing something MUCH more technical than what I'm currently doing).

Weeks go by without hearing from either one, and I basically give up thinking I'll get anything. I feel like crap, and frustrated. Oh well.

Out of the blue I hear from job #2 recruiter. Basically "are you available for an interview this week for this job?" Turns out, this is not the same job, but a different one: Sr SIEM security engineer. (...it's also a pay grade lower. According to my previous boss, he said they may drop the pay grade of a job if they they really want an applicant, but for them to jump that many pay grades wouldn't be allowed by HR).

Sr. SIEM engineer. I'm feeling under-qualified. I mean, I may just get it. I mean, why would the recruiter basically say "look at this other job here. Oh, and by the way, it's a pay grade that's not as huge a jump as the other one, let's meet and talk about it" What happens if this is a job that turns out I'm not smart enough for, not experienced enough for? I'm not a SIEM expert, and only use splunk for searching users net log history (I told this to the manager, so I was straight up honest about this. I don't believe in lying or embellishments during interviews. I sell my desire/passion for being a nerd and self study).

Sorry for the rambling. I'm just needing some advice really bad here. I'm feeling sick to my stomach right now. I've always been honest, but also have always been told by many people I have low-confidence, and sell myself short (a weakness of mine I've been trying to battle for many years now).

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